But I will write because this blog is about the real deal. The gritty brutal reality that is pregnancy and that includes the good and the bad, the irritability, the physical pain, the emotional highs and lows, the often not so beautiful truth.
Im feeling dire today. The back pain has reached what feels should be the worst it can be but probably isnt. I have to ask U for a back massage at least once a day and if it were really need based, would actually be multiple times a day, better yet... I'd turn him into a human massager with mechanical arms that never stops applying counter-pressure to my aching back. The simplest of tasks - from sitting to standing to eating to breathing not to mention folding clothes, food shopping, cooking, working, writing blogs - now hurts my back to a difficult to bear level. And no Im not taking painkillers cause it just doesn't feel like a good idea because of the potential for me to want to take them regularly (and also because Im masochistic like that..)
Next complaint.. sadly nothing new. Insomnia. I had a glass of water on Saturday night before bed cause I was thirsty, and of course, I woke up 7 times to use the bathroom. SEVEN TIMES. ONE GLASS OF WATER. Sometimes I try to pretend that I am sleepwalking when I go to the bathroom, so that when I go back to bed its as if I didnt know I was awake. Note to all: this technique doesn't work. Of course having to pee isnt the only reason for the insomnia. Besides my brain just wanting to have a life of its own, I simply cannot get comfortable and heartburn/gas always seems to pop up to say hello during bedtime. Many nights baby also decides that lights out means time to kick the crap out of his mother.
You would think that after a few sleepless nights one's body would just give out from exhaustion and I could at least get ONE night of sleep after 5 nights of bad/no sleep. WRONG. I couldn't sleep last night despite being active all day, not drinking before bed, switching to the guest bedroom, switching back to our bedroom, practicing my relaxation meditation mantra, praying... nothing worked, and Ive reached a point where Im scared of bedtime.
So its not surprising that I am near the point of giving up. But unlike other things in life where "giving up" requires ceasing to do something, with this particular challenge at hand... there is nothing I can actually cease doing, or begin doing, to resolve the situation. Besides cease maintaining composure I suppose, which would definitely serve no good purpose whatsoever and plus Ive already tried that on occasion and can confirm that it does not resolve or alleviate any of the sources of misery.
Its time to resort to begging the only person who can actually do something about this situation....
Oh my dear wonderful blessed child, please please PLEASE be healthy and happy but please please PLEASE come out as soon as you are fully baked. I realize that you may enjoy your currently cozy abode and want to stay in there longer in order to greet us with a full mane of hair, long fingernails, and enough fat on your chubby legs to be a baby sumo wrestler. But please instead think of your poor mother and come out as soon as the timer dings so that mama can hold you and kiss you in her arms, and stop having to practically lean backwards to hold you up by her belly.
*DING!*
1 comment:
Oh you poor dear :( I'm sorry you are in this stage. I say give up on getting good sleep. Park yourself on the couch and turn on the TV. Rent a movie and watch it in spurts. Get some snacks and some fun magazines.
It's nature's cruel trick to prepare you for the lack of sleep in the future. It sucks, but like you said, there's nothing you can do about it.
Hugs!
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